Come Watch Your Favorite Game at Bleachers

Welcome Back D'antoni 

by the Ki-Olumnist

December 17, 2008  

My buddy Brandon asked me if I wanted to go to the Suns vs. Knicks game. In a tweeker's heartbeat I replied YES, via text message.  I needed my NBA fix and I wanted to get a feel for our new acquisition J. Rich.  This is his 2nd game wearing the Purple and Orange and I'm just geeked to peep out his brand of athleticism in person. 

So we arrive to the arena 15 minutes before tip off, on a day that was actually colder in Phoenix than it was in New York.   Poor Knicks,  can they catch a break? Imagine having a business trip from Phoenix to New York in July and New York greets you with a higher Fahrenheit than the desert you just left.    Well since the temperature was in the 40's I decided to load our flasks with some of Canadian's finest, C.C.  You know how I do it!  Hey, it is the recession and I need some cheap fuel.  We approach the gate and Brandon isn't the most experienced flask holder, but he did notice that the security was patting fans down like it was a Snoop Concert.  So like ninjas, Brandon and I jump out of the line and we head towards the east entrance and put our flask in our waist like we packing liquid heat.  The east entrance security doesn't check us too thoroughly. We in there B! Up in the Purple Palace all fueled up and heading to the bar to get a diet coke, extra ice in a BIG CUP. After our bathroom stop to dump and fill, we head to our seats during the National anthem.  B and I share one of those fist bumps that says, "Our timing is incredible right now". 

Introduction for the Knicks begin and Coach D'antoni gets a warm greeting, despite the 40 degrees it was outside.  Fans showed the Godfather of the small ball trend, some love.  D'antoni was looking like Dick Dastardly on Hanna Barbara's Wacky Races being introduced before he plots how to sabotage another racer.   And Nate Robinson was his Muttley. "Hee, hee heeee..."  

The music at US Airways is improving,  but still a little stale.  One of the following songs was NOT played in the 1st quarter.  Can you guess which one?   

A) Whoomp There It Is by Tag Team
B) What's My Name by Snoop Dogg
C) Roc Boys by Jay Z 
D) Vivrant Thing by Q-Tip 
E) Swagga Like Us by T.I. and Jay Z

(Answer below) 

So with the new starting line up of Steve Nash,  Jason Richardson,  Grant Hill, Amare Stoudamire and Shaquille O'neal out there,  my head started bobbing to it's own music while ignoring Usher's "Yeah" blasting through the speakers at an unnecessary volume.   Grant Hill and Chris Duhon greet each other in a Duke sorta way.  It was as if they were at Coach K's 2019 retirement party at the Cameroon Indoor Arena private reception area. Very formal,  extremely intelligent.  I felt smarter just watching this interaction.  

Shaq loses the tip to Al Harrington and the game begins.  Yes,  Shaq losses the tip!  You can not understand the force of a Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal until you are in the same building with him.  He is a walking Twilight Zone.  Your eyes will never adjust to his combination of size and agility.  And when he loses a jump ball, it is unbelievable.  How did THAT just happen?  Same way you look at David Lee scoring 8 points in the first 4 minutes.  How did THAT just happen? Hustling,  rebounding,  scrapping,  and guarding Shaq while standing at 6 feet 9 inches.  Dude ended up with 15 pts and a dozen boards.  That is $1.8M well spent.  But guess what Suns fans?  We got a Baby David Lee on our bench.  Do not sleep on the gutsy Louis Amundson.  He might be the type of Rebel we need.  Speaking of,  aren't you glad Marcus Banks and his $4.2M is off the books?   Sarver Fist Pump.  

62 points at half, an 11 point lead and I am half way finished with my contraband cocktail.  All smiles and slouching in my 2 foot  wide chair while cheering a random fan who has 5 seconds to dribble full court and make a shot. A brief discussion stems from this. Me and the  guy next to me try to figure out how we would accomplish that. He says he would throw a pass to him self,  sprint down court,  catch the ball and lay it up.  I say I would not dribble, cradle the rock like Eric Dickerson (I was thinking OJ but censored myself) and then lay it up. There also was a Basketball Clinic and a 12 year old girl displayed the most handles by far. Through the legs,  behind the back, spider drill, baby dribbles with her left and her right. All in all, this half time show was expertly emceed by Cedric Ceballos.  I love that dude.  For real.  He is the only ex NBA star that can pull this off and walk around with his head up.  I wonder what the visiting teams make of Ced the Halftime Entertainer walking around the stadium promoting t-shirt contests and name dropping for The Room Store.  He is a walking commercial and I ain't mad at him.  

2nd half started and I am chomping on a $8 Philly Cheesesteak with grilled onions funking up the joint.  I get the "thanks for bringing me one" joke from the people next to me.  I give them the "don't mess with my food" ice grill stare.  This Cheesesteak is expensive and I know you all smell the extra strong "Coca-Cola" I been sipping on for over an hour. Don't play with me!  I think my aggression carried on to the court because Amare flung his hand so dominantly towards the ref. He looked like DMX waving off a photo cop while driving 101 mph on the 101.  Barnes brought his aggression.  J. Rich got swagga.  I like this team.   

As the 3rd quarter ended, Steve Nash was on the bench and I wasn't nervous like I use to get in years past.  I fed off of this energy and I felt like I wanted to out New York the surrounding New Yorkers!  I look around and guess who sits 2 rows in front of us?  Allan Houston. The dude next to me who wanted to throw the pass to himself earlier, asked me what movie did he play in.  Then he tells his friends that that guy is a famous actor.  Brandon and I giggle,  until David Lee gets his 5th foul.  Giggles turn into aggression and I start yelling PUT IN CURRY!  PUT IN MARBURY!  Do YALL LIKE YOUR 7 MAN ROTATION?  GET USE TO IT!  Secretly,  I was trying to get Allan Houston to notice me.  He didn't care,  or he pretending not to.  He did cheer every time the Knicks scored. I guess I would cheer for my former employer if they was still  paying me two years after I stopped playing.  He also was cheering with golf hand claps every time the 5"6" Nate Robinson did circus trick after circus trick.  Point guards have  been KILLING the Suns lately.  Steve Nash needs to be called out and stop complaining and play ball.  He did have a nice game, but we need some locker room balling from him too. 

 1 minute and 16 seconds left.  Allan Houston leaves dejected!  Was it me?  Did I get to him.  I would want to think so.  However it was my boy Nash busting a 3 in D'antoni's eye.  PLOW!!  "Ice Ice Baby". Nashty. Game's over.  No one on the court has Swagga Like Us,  Swagga Like Us, Swa Swagga Like Suns.  That song was bumping in my head over and over,  but too bad the US Airway's DJ doesn't have the GUTS to play that jam on the loud speaker.  And there my friends,  the answer to the quiz.